Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ladies don't puke and tell
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
