Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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