Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
