OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
