and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
