are you still at the devil's house?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
