If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
