So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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