No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
