oh god the rape fog is back!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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