I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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