I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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