I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
