Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
