saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
