Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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