Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
