toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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