The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
