I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
