Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
