I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
