I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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