Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
