I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
