And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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