I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
