i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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