i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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