Plan B is the new Plan A
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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