I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
