Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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