k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
