Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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