Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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