his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
