Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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