apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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