I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
