what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
