that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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