IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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