I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
