Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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