I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
