Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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