Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
