great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
