rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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