In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
